Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize