Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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