you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
