make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
