I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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