He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
