he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
