you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
