I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
