He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
