Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
