So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
