Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
