i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Life is so much better after having sex.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
