Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
