she was so not down for the gang bang
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
