Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
