You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
