is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
