Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
