Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
