is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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