evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
