Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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