Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
