A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Duck Duck Cougar?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
