is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I enjoy the company of your penis
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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