i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
