You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
