you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Fuck appropriateness.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize