And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
