Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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