Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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