Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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