He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
