I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
