and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
