If i come over, it means nothing
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
