So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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