why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
