How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
