If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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