He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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