So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
