i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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