I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
