I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
