i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
