Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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