I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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