umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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