What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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