woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
