Buhtt sex?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
