im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
