Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
