No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sext me about skeletons
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