That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
