No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize