I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
