Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
