i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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