It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
