Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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