she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
third nipple confirmed
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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