he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
