So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
